I am a queerspawn.
And not just a queerspawn but a queerspawn elder.
I had no idea that children of queer parents had banded together and given themselves a name.
I learned about my new community during a podcast interview with Anne Marie of Coming Out & Beyond. The interview will air in 2024. She informed me that I was indeed part of this community (6 million of us in the U.S. alone) and that I was a queerspawn elder.
As soon as the interview ended, I Googled the term and found TEDx talks from other queerspawn, articles, and an organization that connects us all and gives us space to share our stories, and ask questions. There’s even space for folks like me who had a closeted parent. Suddenly, I feel a little less isolated and a lot more understood.
When I started writing “My Father, The Queen” I knew I wasn’t the only person to have this experience. What is special is that this story focuses on Black daughters living life with a closeted parent who never officially came out. Just hinted at his truth. It was the open secret everybody knew and no one dared talk about. Because when you did, you were met with anger, rage, and denial.
Still, I am excited to meet fellow queerspawn.
I want to hear their stories.
I want to exist in a space where I’m not the only one and have my experience be okay.
Affirmed if you will.
Folks who have experienced a similar rejection.
So many amazing things have come about because of this project.
I have met some amazing people.
I fell in love with a new city. (Chicago has me rethinking my strict anti-snow stance.)
And I discovered that I’m part of a community that’s at least 6 million people strong.
That’s some community.
Twenty years ago, you couldn’t have told me that so much beauty would have come from so much pain.
But here we are.
And I’m at peace with it all.